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And if we used to divorce because we were unhappy, today we divorce because we could be happier.

And if divorce carried all the shame, today, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.

Keeping Them in the Dark Throwing Off Their Suspicion Community Q&A Infidelity in a committed relationship is a serious breach of trust.

Regardless of whether or not you think you can get away with it, if you're tempted to cheat on your partner, you should first consider whether or not you want to be in the relationship at all.

So it's never been easier to cheat, and it's never been more difficult to keep a secret.

And never has infidelity exacted such a psychological toll.

And when we say "infidelity," what exactly do we mean?Ironically, we used to turn to adultery — that was the space where we sought pure love. " And this is also what my patient Heather is telling me, when she's talking to me about her story with Nick. Nick just left on a business trip, and Heather is playing on his i Pad with the boys, when she sees a message appear on the screen: "Can't wait to see you." Strange, she thinks, we just saw each other.But now that we seek love in marriage, adultery destroys it. I thought I knew who you were, who we were as a couple, who I was. And then another message: "Can't wait to hold you in my arms." And Heather realizes these are not for her.And yet, this extremely common act is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the taboo against it.In fact, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy, so much so, that this is the only commandment that is repeated twice in the Bible: once for doing it, and once just for thinking about it.

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