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I was the editor of the literary magazine and the student newspaper, which, contrary to my expectations, did not lead to a greater incidence of dates with girls or conversations with girls or girls.

They clearly felt I was so amazing a “catch” that surely some supermodel was dating me and that I was always on a yacht somewhere, which in fact was true except for the supermodel and the yacht and the dating.

When I graduated from high school there was some concern I might not go to college because I already knew everything.

Many people thought I should be made president or king or something, and Harvard and Yale unanimously voted that even were they to merge, the combined school “still wouldn’t be good enough” for me.

She even went so far as to call Jeremy "predatory," and then told Ariana to "be an advocate for those who can't be an advocate for themselves," referring to the women Jeremy was supposedly harassing.

"For Katie to use that word against my brother is disgusting," Ariana told Bravo cams.

Actually I’m 25, so whenever you have to be born in order to be 25, that’s when I was born. All right, so I was born and was very adorable, a condition that persists to this day.

I should probably delete the above paragraph and start over, except that as a professional writer, I strive to be lazy.

In my life, I've driven an ambulance; repossessed cars; sold life insurance, wine making equipment, and men's clothing; programmed computers, and analyzed financial statements.

Another attractive feature is that, because it is written by me, I’ve been able to take certain “artistic liberties” in order to make me seem more “good.” I was born in 1960 in Petoskey, MI. No jury would have convicted me once I showed them evidence she had stolen my baseball and left it out in the rain. Reviewing what I’ve just written, I’m concerned that I’m not coming off as well as I intended.

I deny that when I was 3 my mother had to pin a note to my sweater that said “please do not feed Bruce cheese.” Stories about me being 6 years-old and getting beaten up by a little girl 2 years younger miss the point that she was a very mean little girl.

The comments didn't sit well with Billie, but she kept her composure.

from composed when Billie told them what Stassi and Kristen had said.

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