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.” Penny knew that whatever Madison Chandler was going to say, she wasn’t going to enjoy it. ” The taller of the two girls glared pointedly at Penny’s mom, who was chatting with Madison’s father a few feet away. Possible reactions to Madison Chandler calling your mom a slut: 1. His crew qualified as popular since it included moderately popular soccer kids despite the rest of the squad being burnouts. It was the only thing Celeste knew how to “cook.” Penny thought back to the first day Mark talked to her after fifth period. Everybody knew he had “yellow fever.” His ex was this smoking-hot Vietnamese girl Audrey, whose dad was transferred to Germany with the air force, and in middle school he’d briefly dated Emily, who was half Thai. And while Mark referred to Penny as “bae,” which just made her deeply uncomfortable because: gross, he also described pizza as not only “bae” but “bae AF.” Which, yeah, obviously, but that was the problem. Not on the billboard but easily in a catalog group shot. Mark was also younger by a year, which was clutch when you were sorta-kinda-not-really-but-maybe dating since that meant he had a different lunch period. ” She opened the fridge, grabbed a pitcher of sweet tea, and poured them both glasses. It was clear to everyone that “Matt” wanted to give her a lot more than investment advice. It was the size of a mouse coffin, with four oxidized bonbons inside, and he kept mentioning the Vietnam War as though they had something in common. Steering clear of unrepentant scumbags was a start. Especially since empirically Mark was out of her league. Which wasn’t everything, except in high school maybe it was. Mark often smelled as if he hadn’t done laundry in a while. Possible gambits to mount a distraction for a boyfriend who’s prone to distraction: 1. A long-distance relationship based on cataclysmic levels of meh was soul-eating. ” Penny couldn’t believe how dense her mother could be. It didn’t help that Celeste was invariably welcoming. Hemphill, their ancient mailman, presented Celeste with a tiny box of drugstore chocolates. But now that Penny was leaving, Celeste had to get better at navigating the world. She blotted the hot stray tears with a sleeve so her mom wouldn’t see. Not that Penny ever publicly referred to Mark as her “boyfriend.” He functioned more as a stopgap for complete isolation when Angie moved away, which was a totally awful way to think about it. Mark thought sexts were an appropriate and fun way to christen a new phone.