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I dated a guy who said he was in an open relationship. I got irritated because after two months he never did any preliminary research.

When I pointed that out, he deleted all our work and blocked me on FB. As tempting as it might be to hold on to his stuff or trash it, that just keeps this drama alive.

If you want him out of your life and out of your head, put his crap in a bag, set it on your porch or leave it with a neutral third party, and tell him when he can swing by and get it. Making sure your mouth is empty is easy, of course, but it's not that difficult to empty or clean out an ass.

Also, a good, fiber-rich diet empties and cleans out the ass naturally.

I fielded sex questions in front of a sold-out crowd, singer-songwriter Rachel Lark performed amazing news songs, comedian Elise Kerns absolutely killed it, and Tye—a token straight guy plucked at random from the audience—joined us onstage and gave some pretty great sex advice!

A sexually frustrated international drug dealer is arguably more dangerous than a sexually satisfied international drug dealer—so you may be doing society a service. My boyfriend would probs be in an open relationship, but I'm not interested for no reason in particular.

Speaking with a low-information voter is frustrating because they can't tell you why they voted for someone; speaking with a low-information fucker—someone who can't tell you why they're doing/screwing what they're doing/screwing—is just as frustrating.

We couldn't get to all the audience questions during the show, so I'm going to race through as many unanswered questions as I can in this week's column...

You've famously said, "Oral comes standard." How long before anal comes standard? I enjoyed a great sex life with many kinky adventures until my husband died suddenly two years ago. Judging by how many people tell me they're having a hard time finding sex-positive, kink-positive, open-positive, and poly-positive therapists, I would definitely file "sex-positive therapist" under "world needs more of." Chase that dream!

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