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It means that you are not imprisoned in a reality where you can’t be happy unless you get a very, specific outcome with one particular person.
MORE: Everything You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back When you fixate on a specific outcome with a specific person, you ruin your attractive vibe since you can’t be happy unless you have the outcome you want…
What I mean by this is that if you take on a certain perspective, you are guaranteed to act needy.
And if you take on a different perspective, you will never act needy.
My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year.
The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in the hospital for a few months.
That feeling does not feel good, and the source of it is how you’re thinking about your situation, it’s your perspective. You could have 100,000 songs on your i Pod, but if you’re not playing any of the songs… In that same way, your relationship is exactly what it is in the moment that you’re with that person, experiencing that person and interacting with that person. you experience it in the moment you’re with the person.
and abandon any perspective or pursuit that has you feeling crappy in your moment-to-moment experience in service of some imagined better future.
In another sense, you already have a relationship with him… So, to answer your questions about what to do and if you can get him back… It is counter-intuitive, but when women fixate on a guy (and worse, a specific outcome with a guy), they are destroying their mood and ability to be attractive.
When you take on the perspective of, “I need this guy to be this specific way with me…
All I want is to quietly solve the problem by myself. So with all that in mind, you could sum it up by saying: I want her to give me space and I want her to be OK while she’s giving me space.
All relationships are going to require moments where you give the guy space.